Coming Soon: "Hot Wheels: The Movie" (AKA: "Speed Racer 2")

So, Warner Bros. is making a Hot Wheels movie. No joke, they seriously are. You can read about it here. I mean...seriously? What's up with Warner Bros. these days? Do they have car envy or something? Are they jealous of all the toy cars Disney sold when Pixar released "Cars" a few years back and now they want a piece of that market? Not only that, but Joel Silver is producing this thing. Didn't he already produced the CGI filled "Speed Racer?" Why another car movie? In fact, didn't Warner Bros. fund "Speed Racer?" Do they want another flop? Because, really, "Speed Racer" is about as close to a high speed racing movie for kids as your going to get these days and have it make money.

Oh wait, "Speed Racer" didn't make money.

I think that's because kids don't care as much for racing anymore. I mean, after all, why go to the movies to see CGI races when you can play them on your Playstation 3 or XBox 360? If they want to get this car movie to make money their going to have to do more then throw money at it to make it look pretty. There has to be a solid story, and for some reason I just don't see where a good story can come from when you're working with plastic toy cars. You know, I think this is very telling. See, "Speed Racer" was not a hit at the box office, but the kids who did see it wanted to buy all the collectable toy cars. Likewise, collectors of toy cars were smitten by these things, and Warner Bros. made a fair amount of money on these toys.

So while the movie didn't do so hot, it at least broke even, and the toys brought in the gravy for the stock holders. They want this again, but if they dare mention they are making a sequel to a movie that barely broke even...well, that wouldn't make the stock holders happy, even if there is a side business that benefits from such a move. Therefor they decide to make a movie from a different brand. This way they can continue to sell toy cars, and hey, maybe this movie will actually make enough to warrent a sequel. Really, Hollywood studios aren't too hard to figure out. I just find the whole thing funny is all.